Gaz Cooks Crap

Many years ago, I had the misfortune to observe a friend of mine being sick after getting very drunk indeed. This would have been fairly unpleasant at the best of times, but on this occasion it was far worse as, prior to being sick, said friend had drunk-binge-eaten 10 creme eggs. Now, if you've ever been sick (and if you haven't, by reading this I think you're increasing your odds of breaking your 'puke duck' by some considerable margin), you'll know that the whole process involves getting a large volume of material up and out as rapidly as possible with scant regard for where it lands - the bodily function analogue of serving soup using a miniature trebuchet. And as it turns out, thick sugary fondant and chocolate isn't the ideal form of matter for expediting this process. The only way I can describe what I witnessed is that it was like watching someone give birth to a lava lamp out of their face in slow motion while making a noise you might hear coming