Gaz Cooks Crap

Galas are funny things. You only ever seem to get 3 types - luncheons, swimming, and pies. And while you could feasibly eat the latter at the former, you'd probably not want to do the middle one too soon after or you'd be very sick indeed, and no one likes doing lengths around a load of regurgitated eggs. They'd even shut the council pool for that, and there's usually a dead seagull and a miasma of fag butts in the shallow end there - and that's on a good day. Oh, and there's gala bingo as well I suppose, but that's just full of pensioners and hen dos, so they probably wouldn't want pie so much as Werther's originals for the first lot and jugs of novelty cocktails with risque names such as "Crabs on the Beach", "Jogger's Nipple" and "Celebrity Sexy Love Island Iced Tea" for the second. But back to gala pie, which for the uninitiated is basically a pork pie with an egg-based truncheon shoved up it. And let's f