Gaz Cooks Crap

The past, eh? What a load of shit. Everyone had diseases, died at the age of 14 after having to work in a factory from birth, and the only stuff to eat was bits of cold wood. Then things got better, but there was an inbetween period that we now refer to as 'the 1970s'. This was when folk had stopped living in potholes and probably didn't have rickets, but the food was still awful and your dog was probably still a racist (note: that was a high-concept white dog poo joke). One of the foods that was popular in these dark times (literally: the lightbulb was only invented in about 1982) was arctic roll - a limp cake wrapped round a shaft of vanilla ice cream, usually with a light smearing of jam 'twixt the sponge and a lump of Walls' finest. Clearly, it was awful. With the appearance of some sort of dessert-based cross-section of a clogged artery, you either had to eat it so cold that the cake was hard and got wet as it defrosted, or so warm the ice cream melted - also