Gaz Cooks Crap

Oh, hello! As John 'Imagine really is a pile of overrated horse shit' Lennon once blurted out between bouts of being a tiresome hippy arse, "And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?". Well, I don't know what you've done, John (the fact you've been dead for 37 years notwithstanding), but I thought it's well past time we  (or rather, I - it's not like I have help. Though arguably I might need help of a different sort) cut through all the usual boring guff issued from TV chefs this time of year. It's all staged dinner parties with sweaty fake friends because it was filmed back in August, smug claims about the best way to cook a turkey that still end up with it tasting like a desiccated  bookmark, and everyone claiming their roast potatoes are so crispy that all the windows in a 5-mile radius shatter from the crunch when you eat one. No thanks. Instead, I think it's time for a full festive menu that really reflects the true meanin