Gaz Cooks Crap

A few years ago, we decided to try cooking a duck for dinner. And before you dash off to alert the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds of a potential avian misdemeanour, I don't mean by this that we went out, clonked a passing mallard on the beak and shoved it in the oven. Apart from anything else I've never hunted any sort of animal in my life so wouldn't have the first idea how to trap one (a fireworks-stuffed bread roll tied to a hammer, maybe?). No, this was a shop-bought specimen, and the idea was we were going to do some sort of extra-poncey Sunday roast. However, as you may have spotted from the terms 'try', 'the idea was' and 'absolute shitfest', things didn't exactly go to plan - and if you're wondering where that latter phrase fits in, it's coming up right now: instead, it was an absolute shitfest. You see, everyone knows ducks are quite lardy. Unlike your more land-based eating birds such as chicken, turkey, McNuggets